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· 2,062 ratings · 329 reviews

Start your review of Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way

May 27, 2012 Kathleen rated it really liked it

Who knew that Mayim Bialik could write such an engaging book?! I wouldn't have guessed. However, she did write a fantastic book describing her experiences with attachment parenting. I found her account of her own family's experiences really helpful and charming.

You know what's not helpful and charming? The people reviewing her book on Goodreads, using their reviews as a way to judge and condemn her parenting choices. Throughout the book, Bialik speaks very respectfully about other people's parenting choices. She continually emphasizes that this is what works for her family--but may not be for everyone. In short, I found the book to be really well-written, straight forward, passionate, and self-depracating. I found the majority of the reviews to be petty, judgmental, and reactionary. I hope that those pseudo-reviews won't dissuade others from reading this book.

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Aug 26, 2012 Ciara rated it it was ok

okay, i am scoring this one kind of on the lower side, but not because i think that mayim bialik is a hopeless goody-goody or is harming her children via attachment parenting (which seems to be why most people are so critical of this book...though i do siagree with her anti-vaccination stance, just for the record). i guess i am marking it down because i felt that it didn't really provide much info. it purports to be a "guide to attachment parenting". i mean, it's right in the sub-title. but it r okay, i am scoring this one kind of on the lower side, but not because i think that mayim bialik is a hopeless goody-goody or is harming her children via attachment parenting (which seems to be why most people are so critical of this book...though i do siagree with her anti-vaccination stance, just for the record). i guess i am marking it down because i felt that it didn't really provide much info. it purports to be a "guide to attachment parenting". i mean, it's right in the sub-title. but it reads more like a memoir, & a wicked boring one at that. mayim hits all the big AP elements: breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, etc. but there's not a lot of "how to," & aside from the agonizingly boring introductory chapter in which mayim reiterates all the science behind why it's neurologically beneficial for children to be raised AP-style, there's not too much "why" either. just lots of rambling about mayim's experiences breastfeeding, mayim's experiences babywearing, mayin's experiences co-sleeping.

in the interest of full disclosure, i should mention that i am interested in attachment parenting & will probably do a lot of it. i plan to breastfeed & am hoping to do baby-led weaning. we have bought slings instead of a stroller. we're sidecarring a daybed-style crib to our mattress so that we can co-sleep. (our house is so small, baby couldn't have its own room even if we wanted it to.) we intend to cloth diaper exclusively, & my partner has expressed a lot of interest in elimination communication. we plan to make our own baby food. but we're not doing this stuff because we have bought into some story that kids who are raised this way somehow turn out more confident & secure than other kids. if that's what happens--cool. i hope my kid will be confident & secure. but we're really doing it because it's what makes the most economical sense for our lifestyle. breast milk is free; formula costs money. mashing up food we already have in the house is cheaper than buying baby food. slings are cheaper than strollers. keeping the baby in our room is cheaper than outfitting a nursery. over the long term, cloth diapers are exponentially cheaper than disposables, & elimination communication is even cheaper than cloth.

so at all the points in the book where mayim wrote about how the choices she was making were really crucial to her kid's psychosocial & neurological development, i just kind of tuned out. i didn't find it offensive--i'm sure most parents think they are making the best choices for their babies, you know? what's the harm in saying so? i am just of the opinion that no matter how you raise your kid, whether you give them breast milk or formula, keep them in a crib on another floor or let them sleep in bed with you, eventually they grow up & become their own person. i was breastfed & cloth diapered when i was a baby (for economical reasons). i don't remember it at all. i doubt that i would be a terribly different person had i been put in pampers. a friend of mine slept in a sock drawer when she was a baby. her parents couldn't afford a crib & matching nursery furniture. but i don't think sleeping in a sock drawer really left a lasting imprint on her psyche or anything--for good or ill.

a lot of mayim's parenting philosophies are off the beaten track, but there was nothing in this book that i hadn't really heard before. she writes about not forcing her children to share toys on the playground or on playdates. this is anathema to a lot of parents, who think that children need to be taught to share or they will become spoiled, selfish monsters. well, i've met a lot of kids whose parents exhorted them to share & they were STILL spoiled, selfish monsters. it's not being forced to share that makes your kid thoughtful & considerate. it's, you know, not being spoiled. it's also appreciating where you kid is at developmentally. an 18-month-old cannot be reasoned with when it comes to sharing. they don't yet have a capacity for empathy. making them share feels to them like you're ripping a toy out of their hands & giving it to another child. they don't understand why that's a "nice" thing & they're definitely not learning any life-long lessons from the whole enterprise. so on stuff like that, i see mayim's point.

i've also seen people saying that mayim is a monster because she lets her babies sleep in bed with her which is OMG so dangerous they'll die any second! well, they're still alive & both are now out of infancy. it seems like MOST new parents say, "i will never let my baby sleep in my bed," & then one too many sleepless nights causes them to make a different decision & bring the baby to bed. so mayim made that choice from the get-go. big whoop. there are times when having the baby in bed is contraindicated, like when a parent is under the influence of some kind of drug or alcohol that is making them sleep more deeply than usual. but in normal circumstances, it's safe for the baby to be in bed as long as it's kept away from pillows & blankets, & having the baby in some kind of bassinet or co-sleeper next to the bed is also safe.

i guess i just would have enjoyed this book more if it went more into the hows in more detail, & if mayim shared alternatives to doing some of the stuff she does. for example, she mainly does elimination communication & didn't have anything to say about cloth diapering. i'd like to read about cloth diapering. she keeps her boys actually in bed with her. i'd like to see a discussion of keeping baby next to the bed. that kind of thing...but ultimately, i don't think this book deserves some of the hate it has gotten.

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Nov 01, 2015 Paul Smolen rated it did not like it

I'm always looking for interesting new parenting books and I certainly found one this time. How could I resist doing a book review of a parenting book written by a TV actress as good as Mayim Bialik. Not only has she sheparded a great TV career, she has a PhD in neuroscience from UCLA to boot. You can imagine, I was expecting a book that was going to be exploding with wisdom and insight. Dr. Bialik is an advocate of the parenting style known as "attachment parenting", and I was anxious to learn I'm always looking for interesting new parenting books and I certainly found one this time. How could I resist doing a book review of a parenting book written by a TV actress as good as Mayim Bialik. Not only has she sheparded a great TV career, she has a PhD in neuroscience from UCLA to boot. You can imagine, I was expecting a book that was going to be exploding with wisdom and insight. Dr. Bialik is an advocate of the parenting style known as "attachment parenting", and I was anxious to learn more about this manner of raising children. I approached her writing with an open mind but after a careful reading, I must say that I think many parents will find Mayim Bialik's style of parenting odd at best. I will try and explain what I mean by this shortly.

The big question I was asking myself as I read Dr. Bialik's description of attachment parenting was why the emphasis on parent sacrifice? Certainly, Dr Bialik has all good intentions for her children and all children for that matter, but she has raised the parenting bar so high that I feel certain few parents will be successful at attachment parenting. They will be lucky just to keep their marriages, their health, and sanity intact. Good Attachment parents in Mayim Bialik's world, reject most modern obstetrical care, don't get a full night sleep for years, have no privacy from their children, do not take take time for themselves, do not let other adults ever care for their infants, never put their children down if they don't want to be down day or night, and resist most modern pediatric medical care for their children. Why put such extreme stress on new parents that already have an enormous task to accomplish? Certainly, developing a secure bond with your infant in their critical first few months of life is vital. I totally agree with Dr. Bialik on this point. Certainly, breastfeeding is the best food for babies and we should promote infants being exclusively breastfed as much as possible but for me, not to the detriment of a mother's health.

When it comes to parents sleeping with their infant in an adult bed with exhausted parents, I totally disagree. Dr. Bialik is wrong when she says that infant suffocation is rare event when very young babies sleep in a bed with a sleeping adult. (1) In 2004 for instance, 503 babies died this way in the US. The CDC estimates that in 2012, the number of confirmed smotherings of infants had risen to 800/yr in the US.(2) We know that the number one risk factor of SUID in the first year of life is an infant sleeping in the same bed with a sleeping adult. Sleeping in a crib or other safe sleep surface in a parent's room for the first six months of a child's life rather than in bed with his often exhausted parents is not a big deal in my experience. And finally, I must say that I think Dr. Bialik is being naive at best when she strives to minimize medical interventions with her children, carrying that all the way to not vaccinating them. She really doesn't give any rationale for her position, just a major dose of distrust for traditional medical care.

From what I can tell, the core philosophy of Attachment Parenting is to have parents strive to meet all of their children's perceived needs, all the time. While I agree this is vital in the first few months of life, I think the danger is that these same parents will continue to parent their older children this way and create children who are less independent, less self sufficient, and less flexible in the long run. Childhood is about learning, exploring, and gradually becoming independent of one's parents. Imagine a household with 5-10 children being parented in the Attachment parenting style. In this setting, no one child's spectrum of needs could possibly be met all the time and in my book, that is OK. Children growing up in large families seem to do just fine, as long as they are consistently loved and feel safe. I think most experienced parents will tell you that learning to set age appropriate limits and expectations is far more important than meeting all of a child's needs.

Whether a child co-sleeps with his parents or not, is breastfed well into childhood or not, has a difficult birth or an easy one, wears diapers or not, ( all issues discussed in Dr. Bialik's book) I think this is all irrelevant to the kind of adult they are likely to grow up to be. Having a family, that is loving and nurturing with parents that are happy and who function well in society, and who have high expectations for their children--this is the recipe for parenting success. Personally, I don't see these factors as the core of attachment parenting. Dr. Bialik's book is well written and certainly entertaining in a voyeuristic way but I think has little practical value for most parents. I give it 1/5 Doc Smo stars.

Smo Notes:

Infant Deaths Blamed on Suffocation in Bed Up Sharply in U.S., Analysis Finds
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/...

2. Sudden Unexpected Infant Death and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

CDC 2012

http://www.cdc.gov/sids/data.htm
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Jan 03, 2018 Jen rated it did not like it

As a disclaimer, let me start out by saying that I do respect Mayim's right as a parent and a human to raise her kids in whatever way she chooses. That being said, I wish she had the same respect for the rest of us. She claims not to judge those who choose not to use the attachment parenting style, yet in every chapter she comes across as very judgmental of those who don't parent the same way she does.

It's fine if she believes "breast is best". Actually I'm sure most people would agree with tha

It's fine if she believes "breast is best". Actually I'm sure most people would agree with that. But she makes zero concessions for those women who are not able to breastfeed or can't for a legitimate reason, which I find very harsh and disheartening. I'm currently pregnant with my first child and I already know I'm not going to be able to breastfeed because of serious health problems. So, does that mean I will be " denying my child their birthright", as Mayim claims? If that is not judgmental I don't know what is.

Her approach to parenting is that basically, your child or children become the center of your world and life as you know it is completely over. She believes she has to be with her children basically 100% of the time, to the detriment of her husband and marriage (they got divorced shortly after this was published). She refuses to hire a babysitter for even one night, yet laments about missing being able to see a movie in the theater with her husband. My question is, why does she think that in order to be a good parent you have to be a martyr and give up EVERYTHING you found slightly pleasurable before having kids? Why is it so terrible to get a babysitter once every month or two and go see a movie with your husband? She gives no explanation for this.

She also has a lot of off the wall ideas, which frankly left me flabbergasted more than once. She thinks it's wrong to "enforce" your kids to be polite and say please, thank you and I'm sorry. I don't understand this. I also find it baffling that she refuses to teach her kids basic things like colors, letters and numbers until they are 5 years old. Again, she doesn't give a good explanation as to why. Also, her so-called "gentle discipline" is not really discipline at all, at least in my opinion. So many of her ideas left me scratching my head in amazement.

I will not go into detail about the elimination communication chapter except to say, again, she does not give a good basis for doing this. If you want to cut down on waste in the environment then cloth diapers instead of disposables are sufficient to do that. I venture to say that most new moms don't have the time to try to guess when their newborn is going to pee or poop then rush to hold them over a bucket while they do so. Please tell me the purpose of this ridiculousness! And P.S. Mayim, poop and pee IS gross, even if it's my child's. I don't want it all over me if I can avoid it.

She also has a strange hatred for people who use strollers and car seats, but doesn't really explain why. She is a proponent of babywearing, which is fine, but she made a point of heading one section of the babywearing chapter "Even if you have a bad back, you can wear your baby", then doesn't explain how you can actually do this. As someone with severe back problems, I found this highly disappointing. So, does that make me a bad mom if I can't wear my baby because of my back problems? That's how it comes across. She claims time and again not to judge others who don't parent the way she does, but she offers no insights or alternatives either, such as for people who can't breastfeed or babywear or any number of other things.

I'm sure I could continue to go on for awhile about how much I disliked this book, but I'll close by saying that probably the worst aspect of this book, on top of what I've already mentioned, is the extremely boring and almost humorless way in which it was told. I'm surprised I finished it. I definitely would not recommend this, and I don't give out one-star ratings lightly.

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Apr 01, 2012 Amy rated it liked it

This book was interesting, though for me she was preaching to the choir. And I do mean preaching. Though she tries to have a non-judgemental tone and regularly correct herself, the overall feeling is one of a sermon. I agreed with much of what she said, so it didn't bother me, but I can see how it would some. My only real beef with the book was her ragging on concept books for young children. I full agree that play is the essential "work" of early childhood and share he affinity for Waldorff edu This book was interesting, though for me she was preaching to the choir. And I do mean preaching. Though she tries to have a non-judgemental tone and regularly correct herself, the overall feeling is one of a sermon. I agreed with much of what she said, so it didn't bother me, but I can see how it would some. My only real beef with the book was her ragging on concept books for young children. I full agree that play is the essential "work" of early childhood and share he affinity for Waldorff educational philosophy. However, I know from my own graduate level studies that reading, if done right, should be fun. Afterall, don't you enjoy a good book? Why should we think our children cannot enjoy one as well? To me, if reading takes place only in the academic setting and not in an enjoyable environment of home where the company of parents makes books both fun and an opportunity to build relationships, then reading WILL become an academic chore with pressure involved, rather than a genuine enjoyment of reading and learning. Concept books are wonderful for building vocabulary. Don't go through them page by page and read them like a dictionary though. If reading is child-led (yes, let your kid turn the page, even if you aren't done - and let them chew on the book, etc.) and interactive there is absolutely no reason that it should not be a part of their play, even concept books. ...more

Mar 19, 2012 Jasmin rated it really liked it

I really loved this book. I have a seven month old son, and we have been using attachment parenting principles thus far. Not intentionally at first; initially we followed our instincts and our hearts. After he was born and I started wondering if how I was doing things was normal so turned to books to see how things are usually done. Through my research I found that we were using attachment parenting techniques, which makes sense since attachment theory basically says to follow your heart and tru I really loved this book. I have a seven month old son, and we have been using attachment parenting principles thus far. Not intentionally at first; initially we followed our instincts and our hearts. After he was born and I started wondering if how I was doing things was normal so turned to books to see how things are usually done. Through my research I found that we were using attachment parenting techniques, which makes sense since attachment theory basically says to follow your heart and trust your instincts. I only know a handful of people who are really doing attachment parenting; most of the moms I know are following a more traditional parenting style of having their baby sleep in a crib and stuff like that. I don't judge these moms AT ALL, I know that no one knows their baby like they do and I am sure they are doing what is best for their family. But sometimes its tough being the oddball. I have a hard time relating to some of their problems, and at the same time I only have one or two friends who can really relate to how we do things. One of these friends sent me an article that featured an interview with Mayim Bialik discussing her new book, Beyond the Sling. As a huge fan of the Big Bang Theory television show (this woman plays one of the main characters in the show), I was excited to see that she does attachment parenting. Not only that, but she has a PhD in neuroscience, which is awesome. Coming from a biology background, that just makes me respect her and her choices even more. I decided to preorder the book.

This book did not let me down. She does not lecture you. She does not tell you what to do. Instead, she tells you her story and what she has been doing and what has and hasn't worked from her. She begins right at pregnancy and continues through breastfeeding, bed sharing, up until gentle disciplining techniques and how to take care of yourself. What was most helpful for me in reading this book was simply having another person I could relate to. It's nice to see someone else doing what you are doing and seeing it be successful. This book has been reassuring. This book also gave me lots of new ideas that I am excited and incorporate into my own parenting.

I would recommend this book to several different types of people. First, to anyone who is curious about attachment parenting but doesn't really know much about it and isn't interested in reading a dense parenting book about it. I read this over the course of a couple of days and it covers all the principles of attachment parenting in a real and light-hearted way. You will definitely get a great idea of what attachment parenting is all about from reading this book. Second, I would recommend this book to anyone who is already using attachment parenting. Like I said previously, it is great to read a success story and have someone to relate to. Third, I would recommend this to anyone who isn't sure about their parenting style (or the one they will use in the future), or is having trouble with their children and not having a great experience as a parent. Even if you don't want to adopt all the principles of attachment parenting, this book may help you gain some new, fresh ideas.

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Mayim Bialik seems to be a kind, loving and very considerate parent and her choices for her family are her own. Still, without passing any judgment I want to simply express my feelings of bewilderment and disbelief: I was totally weirded out by this book! I am not against the Attachment Parenting. It is a beautiful way to parent if this is your choice, but the way that the author is interpreting the rules of the Attachment Parenting left me speachless. It is just too much! I am still trying to p Mayim Bialik seems to be a kind, loving and very considerate parent and her choices for her family are her own. Still, without passing any judgment I want to simply express my feelings of bewilderment and disbelief: I was totally weirded out by this book! I am not against the Attachment Parenting. It is a beautiful way to parent if this is your choice, but the way that the author is interpreting the rules of the Attachment Parenting left me speachless. It is just too much! I am still trying to process this guide... it will take a while. It was a very easy read and I was glued to the pages like it was a thriller. I am a bit disappointed that Mayim Bialik with her scientific background didn't explain her choices in a more scientific way. There is nothing scientific about this book and it is written in a very simple language. I wanted to learn more about her reasoning for bringing children up the way she does. Also, I can't believe that she didn't vaccinate her children. People think that it is their choice to make, but the truth is that it can affect others in a very bad way.

I only hope that Mayim Bialik and her family will all be ok. It still seems to me like an experiment of some kind. She is so sure that her children will turn out confident and loving adults... but how do we know?

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Oct 05, 2013 Jessica rated it it was ok

I guess I'm kind of an attachment parent. I didn't set out to be, because I didn't set out to be anything except a loving and nurturing mom. It just so happens that I follow a lot of the guidelines of attachment parenting. I picked this book up because I thought it would be interesting to read about another mother's experiences raising her children the AP way and I like to peek into the lives of celebrities.

This book fell a little flat. Bialik tries to do a few things: write a how-to for attach

This book fell a little flat. Bialik tries to do a few things: write a how-to for attachment parenting, provide a scientific rationale for why AP is better than other parenting methods, and share personal stories of her parenting experiences. She does a little of each but none extremely well.

Also I do have to admit that I stopped reading after she revealed that her children are not vaccinated (and as far as I can tell, it's not because they are immunocompromised). PhD or no, she lost credibility at that point.

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Dec 01, 2012 Delilah rated it it was amazing

I really wished that I had read this book before having my first son Jon. I know it has garnered a lot of negative reviews, but with every book, and as Mayim emphasized the book was on a glimpse of how she raised her children and it is up to you to pick and choose, agree or disagree with the views she had to offer. I love, love this book! There have been many times when I've been told I coddle my son excessively, I am not strict enough, I need to spank him, etc etc. But I look at my child and sa I really wished that I had read this book before having my first son Jon. I know it has garnered a lot of negative reviews, but with every book, and as Mayim emphasized the book was on a glimpse of how she raised her children and it is up to you to pick and choose, agree or disagree with the views she had to offer. I love, love this book! There have been many times when I've been told I coddle my son excessively, I am not strict enough, I need to spank him, etc etc. But I look at my child and say how has my parents possibly disabled his growth when he is thriving so well! He's two and is enunciates his words perfectly. He's able to sympathize with emotions and communicate his feelings. He can distinguish shapes and colors and count to 10. He understands when he's in trouble and immediately he apologizes and corrects his behavior. I show my child love and understanding, I take the time to play with him, teach and him and let him know everyday that I love him. I felt like I was the only mother practicing attachment parent until I read this book. It made me feel like wow, what I am doing is okay and not only is it okay it's what's best for my child. Now, I did not breast feed my baby till he was 1 nor do I co sleep, but I am a stay at home mom in full support of attachment parenting and practice it. There have been many times when I've had friends tell me you need to be more strict on your child, you need to encourage independence on your baby. I really agree with her views that we encourage independence at such an early stage when children are merely babies and cannot communicate their needs. Our culture emphasis on independence boggles me. They are babies. They needs are not wants and they need to be met. I loved this book and wish I had come across it sooner. ...more

Apr 02, 2012 Sarah rated it really liked it

This was a very interesting parenting book. Bialik is a strong advocate for Attachment Parenting, as well as many other non-traditional parenting choices (EC: elimination communication, gentle discipline, etc). Many of her points resonated well with me, while others I was less sure of. I agree with her approach to "stuff". I think our culture is a little too stuff-oriented and not enough touch. We find things to "put" our babies in, instead of holding them. We find toys to interact with them, in This was a very interesting parenting book. Bialik is a strong advocate for Attachment Parenting, as well as many other non-traditional parenting choices (EC: elimination communication, gentle discipline, etc). Many of her points resonated well with me, while others I was less sure of. I agree with her approach to "stuff". I think our culture is a little too stuff-oriented and not enough touch. We find things to "put" our babies in, instead of holding them. We find toys to interact with them, instead of interacting with them ourselves. These beliefs don't work for everyone, and to her credit, she recognizes that. The main point I had trouble understanding was their "informed choice" to not vaccinate their boys. I had some trouble with that. Beyond that, I think her philosophy of keeping things simple and getting back to basics is a much-needed one.

If you are a fan of Dr. Sears, this book is, in some ways, the next step in that process. Like all parenting books, you take what you want out of it. You probably won't like 100% of the book, but there are definitely some good ideas and concepts to take away from it. In general, this book was much better than I had anticipated (I have low standards for celebrity self-help/parenting books). The resource section at the end of the book also had some great reads. Not a book I'd recommend buying, but if you are interested in this type of parenting and have access to this book (through your library or someone you know has a copy you can borrow) give it a shot.

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Jul 17, 2013 Kelly rated it really liked it

I was curious about attachment parenting, particularly because it has gotten a lot of (mostly negative) attention lately. I felt I owed this book a fair shake to see what it was all about. Who better to inform me than Blossom?

Overall, I thought it was well written, easy to understand, and much less judgey than was suggested by some other reviews I read before picking it up from the library.

In general, I think a lot of the concepts could work for us, and I'm glad I read it. It definitely gave me

Overall, I thought it was well written, easy to understand, and much less judgey than was suggested by some other reviews I read before picking it up from the library.

In general, I think a lot of the concepts could work for us, and I'm glad I read it. It definitely gave me a more realistic idea of what attachment parenting is and isn't, and gave me plenty to chew on as we await our first baby. That said, everything is in degrees, and I don't know that I would carry all the concepts as far, but the concepts are not just for crazy hippies.

Add this to the multiple sources of parenting information we are researching, determining what sorts of ideas resonate well with us. Not in the goal of over analyzing everything, but just being thoughtful about the choices we make.

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It's hard to review a book like this without sounding like I'm passing judgment on Bialik's parenting choices, which I don't really want to do -- I'm sure her kids, like most of us, will turn out more-or-less fine.

I don't know a ton about attachment parenting, but I knew that attachment parents did a lot of things I plan to do, like baby-wearing, exclusive breastfeeding, sleeping with baby in the same room, etc. And after reading about attachment parenting apart from Bialik's book, I still basically agree with its tenets. But Bialik's interpretation of it just takes it too far for my tastes, and throws in a bunch of stuff that just made her lose credibility in my eyes (like "elimination communication" and being anti-vax and generally anti-medical intervention in general).

I feel a little bit like Bialik's interpretation of attachment parenting principles is akin to fundamentalists' interpretation of Biblical principles -- they might feel like they are doing it "better" than everyone else, but really their extremism is mostly in service of their own feelings of righteousness. I can get behind responding to a child's needs in an intuitive way, but I was very uncomfortable with Bialik's interpretation that this essentially meant a parent could NEVER be away from her children. I cringed when I learned that she had only been out with her husband without her children three times in five years -- and I was not surprised to find out that they divorced a couple years after this book was published. In many ways, her interpretation of the parenting style seemed to be more about parental dependence on the children rather than the other way around. Not to mention that it deprived her children of relationships with other nurturing adults and the opportunity to build a wider support network -- far from being a hardship, I always considered it a treat to get attention from non-parental adults (babysitters, Grandma, aunts) when my own parents went out on dates or to do other things that didn't revolve around being parents.

So even though I hope to take a more balanced approach to parenting than Bialik seems to do, I still found the book helpful because my own responses to her ideas helped solidify my own parenting values.

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Mar 08, 2012 Laura rated it really liked it

I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this book. I was prepared (cynically) to find it a bit off-putting - as in, an attachment parenting book written by a rich celebrity who has an easy life. In actuality, I very much enjoyed her writing style and found many of Nik's and my parenting choices confirmed by her writing and research. I would have appreciated some sources to back up her assertions (rather than just, "I have a PhD in neuroscience, I know what I'm talking about) - I think it I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this book. I was prepared (cynically) to find it a bit off-putting - as in, an attachment parenting book written by a rich celebrity who has an easy life. In actuality, I very much enjoyed her writing style and found many of Nik's and my parenting choices confirmed by her writing and research. I would have appreciated some sources to back up her assertions (rather than just, "I have a PhD in neuroscience, I know what I'm talking about) - I think it would have made her case stronger.

My only bit of disagreement is her assertion that babies need EC (elimination communication). I don't think that's nearly as important on the attachment continuum as is cosleeping or extended breastfeeding.

I particularly enjoyed the chapters on gentle discipline and not-pressuring our kids.

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Mar 20, 2012 Mireille Duval rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: New (and maybe insecure) parents

So Amy Farrah Fowler wrote a book about babies right when I had one. And it's pretty good, too! I read it very quickly: it's easy to read, with a nice dose of humor, and it doesn't take itself too seriously. Although I disagree with her on some points (like vaccines - though she doesn't talk much about them - and teaching stuff to kids) I find many of her ideas very interesting. It sure made me think about my way of raising my kids, and it's nice that she's never judgmental (I did feel a bit ina So Amy Farrah Fowler wrote a book about babies right when I had one. And it's pretty good, too! I read it very quickly: it's easy to read, with a nice dose of humor, and it doesn't take itself too seriously. Although I disagree with her on some points (like vaccines - though she doesn't talk much about them - and teaching stuff to kids) I find many of her ideas very interesting. It sure made me think about my way of raising my kids, and it's nice that she's never judgmental (I did feel a bit inadequate when I read the chapter about elimination communication - I could NEVER be that patient - but I think that mostly speaks to my insecurities as a mother). It's also good to read that just following my instincts already makes me a great mother, heh - and to get a Neuroscience PhD to confirm that I won't spoil my baby by holding her as much as we both want to... ...more

I wish that I had bought the paperback versus reading it on my kindle because it is a book I would like to go back and refer to. Not everything that Bialik describes is for me, but I agree with many of the bigger ideas. I would recommend it to any new parent, regardless of their philosophies, because it is so different from many of the traditional parenting books. All parents benefit from reexamining their ideologies and the ideas Bialik presents might inspire readers to think about why they mak I wish that I had bought the paperback versus reading it on my kindle because it is a book I would like to go back and refer to. Not everything that Bialik describes is for me, but I agree with many of the bigger ideas. I would recommend it to any new parent, regardless of their philosophies, because it is so different from many of the traditional parenting books. All parents benefit from reexamining their ideologies and the ideas Bialik presents might inspire readers to think about why they make the choices they do, as well as to consider some different options. Again, it is a book that falls strongly at one end of the spectrum, versus books like On Becoming Baby Wise by Ezzo and Bucknam, and thus not for everyone-but worth reading. ...more

May 11, 2012 Megan Palasik rated it it was amazing

I loved this book!

Confession: I knew nothing about Attachment Parenting before about a month ago. I heard Mayim talk on Doctor Radio on Sirius Satellite Radio for about 10 minutes and was hooked. I came home, ordered the book and started reading. Soon after I ordered the book, I heard about the TIME Magazine cover "Are You Mom Enough?" and all the controversy surrounding that and I read more about AP. I'm hooked.

Mayim wrote a wonderful book. It's very easy to read and follow. I think it's just a

I loved this book!

Mayim wrote a wonderful book. It's very easy to read and follow. I think it's just as much like a memoir as it is an introduction to AP. There was some research pieces thrown in because Mayim understands research (which I appreciate) but also just as many anecdotal suggestions from her own personal experiences. Also, I really loved the Resources section at the back of the book - it's not just a listing of books she used/mentioned, but has a little sentence about the book from Mayim.

I do not have children yet, but I do work with 0-3-year-olds through home visits - so I have a lot experience with young children. I've shared a lot of the same child rearing ideas over the years - natural birth, breast feeding, use of slings/carriers, cloth diapers (had never heard of EC!), less stuff (especially less stuff with batteries!!), and even less pressure and punishment, but I never had a name for all of my feelings/opinions. I love that I found AP through this book!

Mayim's style of writing is first person as if you're sitting down to coffee with your best friend; very personable and honest. I laughed out loud a few times at some of the things the wrote. I'm going to have my husband read this book (he will) and maybe even get copies for my mother and mother-in-law when we become pregnant so they can understand a little better about where we're coming from with our parenting ideas.

I recommend this book to anyone who is new to AP and/or looking for a different way of parenting than what has become "normal" to everyone else.

Side note - I am a speech-language pathologist who currently works exclusively with 0-3-year-olds. Mayim's boys were late talkers and she chose not to have them evaluated or in any kind of "speech program." That is perfectly fine with me. 80%-90% of my caseload are probably simply "late talkers" who just need a boost and/or monitoring to make sure they continue to develop their speech skills. However, it's that other 10%-20% who have more going on with their development that is hindering their speech. That's why early intervention was developed, to catch the children who have developmental delays and need intervention. With all of that said, Mayim's "Baby Doesn't Need Pressure" chapter talks about not pressuring your child to be part of the "normal" curve. I respect that her mother-in-law, husband, and especially her pediatrician were supportive about the developmental "lateness" of her sons' speech development. I also respect the idea of knowing your child well enough to not compare them to others and letting them develop at their own pace. However, if you feel that your child is not where they should be with any part of their development, and/or if your pediatrician thinks that intervention is needed, please do it. It won't hurt anyone to see if there are delays and generally early intervention is a free program.

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Quite easily one of the worst books ever written. Shallow, turgid and mad. Unfortunately, it gels with a lot of completely bonkers ideas about parenting so it will likely be vaguely popular. Just a taste of the awfulness:

"My husband and I are the only caregivers for our kids, and we have no outside help. We have been on three dates in six years, and the only vacations we take are with our kids... Returning to acting as I have done since our second son was out of infancy allows me flexible hours, no interruption in nursing our son on demand, nor change in our sleeping arrangements since we travel only as a family unit, and I have the ability to see my children most of the day, even when I am working."

It's the insufferable, oppressive nature of it all and the awful 'goodiness' of it that gets my goat. Why would anyway choose to be so appalling? One more quote:

"I don't like parents who pressure my child about pretty much anything; if anything needs to be dealt with regarding their not liking my kid's behavior, I prefer they talk to me, unless my child is causing someone to be in immediate physical or psychological danger. Children are not adults, and adults should talk to adults. Parents can help facilitate discussions between children, but any adult other than a child's parent is perceived by kids as an authority figure, and that can color the interactions unfairly."

Gah, so much for adult solidarity and teaching kids to broaden their horizons beyond the petty concerns of their immediate parents and environment. Compare that with the description of Sears' childhood: "While his mother worked as the manager of a dress shop, Sears went to Mass every day and attended Catholic school. "My mother knew I needed discipline, and the nuns made me toe the mark," says Sears. "I still remember Sister Mary Boniface putting her hand on my shoulder, pinching it and saying, 'You behave.'" Sears mowed lawns and found odd jobs as the neighborhood handyman to help pay his school tuition. "The little old ladies loved me," he says. "At the time, honestly, I thought my childhood sucked. But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I think it gave me an appreciation for work ethic." Sears' mother, wanting her son to have positive male role models, paired him with Boy Scout leaders, coaches (Sears was captain of his high school football team) and pastors and priests. This last group was particularly influential." (Quoted in Time, May 2012, Sears authored The Baby Book, widely acclaimed for kicking off 'attachment parenting' that Bialik espouses).

Which sounds better?

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Jul 20, 2012 Lessa rated it liked it

Bialik tries to give a well-rounded, non-hippy sounding look at Attachment Parenting and gives her reasons to practice this style of parenting as mostly based on scientific research and intuition. She says over and over again in the book that Attachment Parenting looks different depending on the family and that there is no one right way to raise a child and she doesn't want to make anyone feel bad for their choices, but she also emphasizes a few points pretty regularly. Not having children of my Bialik tries to give a well-rounded, non-hippy sounding look at Attachment Parenting and gives her reasons to practice this style of parenting as mostly based on scientific research and intuition. She says over and over again in the book that Attachment Parenting looks different depending on the family and that there is no one right way to raise a child and she doesn't want to make anyone feel bad for their choices, but she also emphasizes a few points pretty regularly. Not having children of my own, I found a lot of really great ideas, techniques, and points that I agreed with and also a lot that made me really question just how open she is to different parenting styles. While she constantly said "this is what works for my family and may not work in yours" she found really, no reasons that individuals could not do most of the things she discussed.

While she acts, her husband acts as primary caregiver, and, as she says, sometimes nothing but mama will suffice. I would also like to think that sometimes nothing but daddy will suffice but she doesn't really spend a lot of time on the male perspective and role, which I feel would have been helpful. Her description of a family in which the female is the primary breadwinner and works outside of the home while the father stays home with the kids tried to sound impartial, but she stated that the kids weren't being raised the same that mom would raise them, but dad is doing a good job anyways. It sounded not as impartial as she might have hoped.

As a whole, I enjoyed the read and the conversational tone, while probably not for everyone, made the book amusing at times. I would recommend this to parents interested in Attachment Parenting but probably not people who think its a crock and want to be convinced otherwise.

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Apr 18, 2012 Bunny rated it really liked it

Mayim Bialik offers the scientific reasoning behind her approach to child-rearing. (largely what is known as attachment parenting).

I think her book has been well discussed so I won't go into that here. I will address one point. She was vilified by some for supposedly insisting her somewhat extreme stances were the only way to go. When I heard her interviewed, she insisted that she wasn't telling anyone else how to parent, rather she was explaining her choices and the scientific validity to them.

Mayim Bialik offers the scientific reasoning behind her approach to child-rearing. (largely what is known as attachment parenting).

Unfortunately, when I read her book, I didn't quite feel that was true. Rather, she would suggest possible reasons people would feel unable to follow some of the practices, then proceed to tell us why those excuses could be overcome. I.e. implying they SHOULD be overcome.

For the record, I followed many of the same practices, (not all). Co-slept, breastfed,never left my child with anyone but my husband until she was nearly 2, (still never had a bona fide babysitter.) So we're playing on the same team for the most part. (though she is way more hardcore) But whether or not it was her intention, she does come off as judgy about other people's choices.

Still a lot of good information, and interesting things to consider.

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Mar 09, 2012 Jenni rated it really liked it

I am not a parent, and picked up this book only because I was curious about attachment parenting. I saw a segment on one of the morning talk shows that Mayim Bialik (Amy Farrah Fowler on BBT) uses AP, and gave a brief overview on what is can entail. One comment made was that she never used diapers on her second child. EVER. I was intrigued.

More so, I was fascinated by the ideas in the book. In it she discusses what her family does, and promotes the idea that AP in and of itself is a theory and t

More so, I was fascinated by the ideas in the book. In it she discusses what her family does, and promotes the idea that AP in and of itself is a theory and that not all attachment parents follow the exact same guidelines.

Some of the things that they do involve co-sleeping with both of their children, "potty training" her newborns, and using her mother instincts before going to the doctor.

It's not a life-changing book, and it does go into the science and history of mammal behaviors, but she does a good job at presenting her parenting ideals.

I would recommend this book if you are interested or fascinated by the idea of attachment parenting. Be warned though, she does talk about a few hot topics, including why she does not vaccinate her children.

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Jul 13, 2012 Helena rated it liked it

A lot of the info in this book was stuff I'd already at least heard about over the last four years (I have some pretty "crunchy" mom friends), but it was still interesting to read about the reasoning and research behind some of these parenting choices. Bialik is careful to note that while these choices work for her and her family, they are not for everyone--and she doesn't judge anyone for making different choices. I appreciated the lack of judgment and guilt, both of which seem to be quite prev A lot of the info in this book was stuff I'd already at least heard about over the last four years (I have some pretty "crunchy" mom friends), but it was still interesting to read about the reasoning and research behind some of these parenting choices. Bialik is careful to note that while these choices work for her and her family, they are not for everyone--and she doesn't judge anyone for making different choices. I appreciated the lack of judgment and guilt, both of which seem to be quite prevalent in a lot of parenting books. Also, despite the fact that Bialik is an actress, her family doesn't live like a "typical" celebrity family would, with nannies and jet-setting trips, etc.--they actually seem pretty normal, which is nice too because it make her advice and anecdotes easier to relate to.

If you're interested in an overview of natural and/or attachment parenting, this is a good place to start. If you're already familiar with these principles through LLL publications and/or Dr. Sears's books, then you probably don't need to read it, though you might find it interesting all the same.

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Oct 25, 2012 Mari rated it really liked it

I wanted to love, love, love this book because I aspire to be a hippie mom of sorts and am drawn to attachment parenting. I respect this book and its approach for sure, but in the same way the "cry-it-out" type books leave me feeling like I'm doing it wrong, parts of this made me question what I'm doing.

This book is a look at one family's parenting strategies, and it's written by an actress with a neurobiology PhD. While some of her educational training does seep into the book overall this is a

This book is a look at one family's parenting strategies, and it's written by an actress with a neurobiology PhD. While some of her educational training does seep into the book overall this is a parenting memoir (of early childhood -- her oldest is 7) and a very good one. I liked the writing and could tell she wasn't trying to talk down to people who make other decisions for their families.

Anyway, Beyond the Sling gave me a lot to think about, as well as a list of other books to read (many of which were at the library and a few more were available for a couple dollars each used on Amazon). I'd recommend it if you're interested in knowing more about Attachment Parenting (the new AP in my life). I also subscribed to Bialik's blog on Kveller.

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Apr 17, 2012 Jane marked it as triedtoread

I thought I was going to love this book, after all, she says, many times, that this is just her journey and not a "you should..." book.
First, although she says it's for you no matter where you are on your parenting journey, she talks a lot about "Baby". So, since I don't have a baby, I started skipping around.
Second, I live in Austin, I have enough friends who practice some level of attachment parenting that if I wanted this information, I'd ask them. She promised me the science behind it. The I thought I was going to love this book, after all, she says, many times, that this is just her journey and not a "you should..." book.
First, although she says it's for you no matter where you are on your parenting journey, she talks a lot about "Baby". So, since I don't have a baby, I started skipping around.
Second, I live in Austin, I have enough friends who practice some level of attachment parenting that if I wanted this information, I'd ask them. She promised me the science behind it. There was some at the beginning, about childbirth and breast-feeding, but it got skimpy after that. Although that's when I got tired of reading about the "Baby", so maybe I missed it.
Third, she just bugs me. She nurses on demand (as did I) except when flying, then she tries to time baby's feeding so baby is hungry. That's fine, really, just don't tell me about how you are only responding to baby's cues.
If you are already an attachment parent, read this to congratulate yourself. If you've never heard of A.P., it might be worth a look, see if there are some ideas to try. ...more

Nov 08, 2012 Carisa rated it liked it

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book and found it interesting. I am not sure whether reading about a celebrity's life is what kept me turning the pages or whether it was the topic. I picked it up because I've heard the term attachment parenting tossed around a lot and I was curious about it. In the beginning Bialik does a good job summarizing the basic principles of the parenting style and I found myself agreeing with a lot of it. She then describes how she incorporates the principles on a daily Overall, I enjoyed reading this book and found it interesting. I am not sure whether reading about a celebrity's life is what kept me turning the pages or whether it was the topic. I picked it up because I've heard the term attachment parenting tossed around a lot and I was curious about it. In the beginning Bialik does a good job summarizing the basic principles of the parenting style and I found myself agreeing with a lot of it. She then describes how she incorporates the principles on a daily basis with her family. Initially I was very attracted to the ideas described and realized my parenting might even fall under that style, but then the more I read, the more unsettled I became her interpretation of some of the principles. I was on board with her encouragement of natural childbirth and breastfeeding, but then I started to feel lost at the baby-carrying chapter which felt randomly preachy. By the end, I found her choices fascinating and some of the challenges of being diaper-free were certainly entertaining, but she had lost my buy-in to the parenting style. ...more

Apr 02, 2012 Jessie rated it liked it

First of all, Bialik does a great job of explaining Attachment Parenting in an easy to understand way. She is also obviously wicked smart and a scientist, and uses her science background to make a case for the AP way of life. She is obviously very, very strict about her AP parenting. The writing style is readable and friendly.

The reason I only give 3 stars is that much like any other book written by a wealthy celebrity about how to live life, I just get irritated. I'm irritated that someone maki

The reason I only give 3 stars is that much like any other book written by a wealthy celebrity about how to live life, I just get irritated. I'm irritated that someone making $100,000 per episode of television is going to act like they don't have much money or that they get to say that their way is the best way. It's lovely that Bialik and her husband don't have any other caregivers for their children. How nice it would be to be in that position. For many of us who have to work, it's difficult not to take it personally when the author starts preaching about choices.

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Mar 15, 2012 Katie rated it liked it

A lot of times I felt pressured that if I didn't raise my child in the ways she was dictating, my child would not be raised in the natural way that he/she was meant to be, and I would not be responding to my baby properly. She really drilled this home when it came to breastfeeding, cosleeping, and elimination communication.

However, I did think that parts 3 and 4 which dealt with discipline, your baby having 'stuff', home remedies, and how your relationships change when baby comes were the best

However, I did think that parts 3 and 4 which dealt with discipline, your baby having 'stuff', home remedies, and how your relationships change when baby comes were the best parts of the book. Maybe it's because these issues are less controversial, or maybe her tone softened, but I enjoyed these chapters more than the beginning.

Summary: The author's tone was a little too much 'my way is best' at times but this is a good book to read if you want to know about different ways to raise your child.

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Apr 13, 2013 Melanie rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: everyone

I loved reading this book as it reinforces my innate wisdom (which exists in EVERY woman) as a parent. Trusting my instincts and not questioning my "methods" when they work for us, being able to relax around my kids and not force what is not natural in my heart, helping them to thrive and become who they were *meant* to be, all are tenets I share with the author. I appreciate she also has a science-based background which supports the way she raises her kids as I also believe my strong background I loved reading this book as it reinforces my innate wisdom (which exists in EVERY woman) as a parent. Trusting my instincts and not questioning my "methods" when they work for us, being able to relax around my kids and not force what is not natural in my heart, helping them to thrive and become who they were *meant* to be, all are tenets I share with the author. I appreciate she also has a science-based background which supports the way she raises her kids as I also believe my strong background in the sciences has perpetuated my own approach. Reading this I felt so in tune with her as she is also vegan raising a vegan family. Wish I could meet her in person! SOO grateful she is speaking out about this not so radical lifestyle. Evolution SPEAKS and science is hard fact. The instincts support what is ultimate truth. Rock on Mayim Bialik! ...more

Mar 06, 2012 Lauren rated it liked it

I give this book 3.5 stars (though I can't do half stars here). I agree with many of the principles Mayim presents, some in my own practice of parenting, and others, only in theory. Still, some of them were extremely 'out there' in my opinion. But I still enjoyed reading the book, and I feel it has made me realize that there are so many different ways to parent, and no one has it all figured out. I think the author did a nice job of presenting the ways her family does things without preaching to I give this book 3.5 stars (though I can't do half stars here). I agree with many of the principles Mayim presents, some in my own practice of parenting, and others, only in theory. Still, some of them were extremely 'out there' in my opinion. But I still enjoyed reading the book, and I feel it has made me realize that there are so many different ways to parent, and no one has it all figured out. I think the author did a nice job of presenting the ways her family does things without preaching to readers that they should do it her way. The main message of the book is that you intuitively know the best way to parent your own children, and to trust what feels right over what society tells you is normal. ...more

Oct 28, 2012 Kristina rated it really liked it

This was a well-written book and while I certainly don't subscribe to many of the philosophies presented within the book, I wouldn't hold that against it by any means. The author was very fair in her discussions of the various, often highly controversial topics, such as co-sleeping, attachment parenting, breastfeeding, discipline, and just parenting in general. I did feel the book started to get a little long in the last 2 chapters or so, but appreciated the author's perspectives and the way she This was a well-written book and while I certainly don't subscribe to many of the philosophies presented within the book, I wouldn't hold that against it by any means. The author was very fair in her discussions of the various, often highly controversial topics, such as co-sleeping, attachment parenting, breastfeeding, discipline, and just parenting in general. I did feel the book started to get a little long in the last 2 chapters or so, but appreciated the author's perspectives and the way she shared her personal experiences. At no time in the book does she say you must do this or you won't be a good parent, but rather she presents her ideas, philosophies, and what works for their family in a friendly and non-judgemental way. ...more

Mayim Bialik is best known as Amy Farrah Fowler on America's #1 comedy, The Big Bang Theory, a role for which she has received four Emmy nominations and a Critics' Choice Award. She also starred in the early-1990s sitcom Blossom. Mayim earned a BS from UCLA in Neuroscience and Hebrew and Jewish studies, and went on to earn a PhD from UCLA in Neuroscience. She is the author of Beyond the Sling and Mayim Bialik is best known as Amy Farrah Fowler on America's #1 comedy, The Big Bang Theory, a role for which she has received four Emmy nominations and a Critics' Choice Award. She also starred in the early-1990s sitcom Blossom. Mayim earned a BS from UCLA in Neuroscience and Hebrew and Jewish studies, and went on to earn a PhD from UCLA in Neuroscience. She is the author of Beyond the Sling and Mayim's Vegan Table.

Mayim founded GrokNation.com in 2015 as a platform for sharing her writing on everything from religious observance to women's issues to politics to maintaining modesty in Hollywood. She seeks to present herself as a normal, imperfect mom trying to make everything run smoothly in a world that often feels out of her control. Mayim lives in Los Angeles with her strong, smart, spectacular sons.

You can visit Mayim Bialik at groknation.com and follow her on Twitter and Instagram @MissMayim. Watch her videos at youtube.com/mayimbialik.

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The last five years of world history have been nothing if not...eventful. When living in interesting times, there's nothing better for...

"women have helped women birth, and there is a support a trained labor coach can provide that many partners can—and should—not. Labors can proceed more slowly when your adrenaline is higher than it ought to be, and a partner hovering over you can make your adrenaline go through the roof. This is not only because of the observation factor but also because of the complex emotional and psychological relationships we establish with our partners; expectations, preconceived perceptions about behavior and support, and even unresolved conflicts can unconsciously find their way into your brain during labor, and these can sometimes get transferred right to your cervix, causing it to close when you want it to open!" — 2 likes

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